It’s high time Pokémon fans give Vanillite the respect it deserves

With every new generation of Pokémon, there’s a horde of upset players who focus their ire on creatures that justify—in their minds—the suggestion that Game Freak has run out of ideas. Well, today, I stand here to defend the swords, the rubbish, and the ice cream cones.

Okay, I admit that my gallant declaration reads more like a strange Chronicles of Narnia spin-off than a thoughtful and impassioned Pokémon essay. Nevertheless, I truly feel it is time to dispel the myth that Game Freak has lost its Midas touch. My inspiration for this defense of the defenseless is a Reddit thread that popped up on Dec. 13. The meme speaks for itself. 

Nostalgia truly is a strange state of mind. For every Vanillite and Honedge, there’s something equally as questionable in the first two generations. Voltorb—and Electrode by extension—are simply sentient Poké Balls and this is alluded to by many Pokédex entries. “Voltorb was first sighted at a company that manufactures Poké Balls,” OmegaRuby’s reads. “The link between that sighting and the fact that this Pokémon looks very similar to a Poké Ball remains a mystery.”

Geodude and its evolutions are all sentient rocks. Magnemite and its evolutions are all sentient magnets. Grimer and Muk are literal sewage water. Do you see the point I’m making here? The original 151 are revered by those of my generation—growing up with the original games and being blown away by the reveal of Donphan back in 1998. Who are we to laugh at the Pokémon that kids grow up with nowadays? 

Let’s give credit where credit is due. Pokémon based on actual animals are far more intricate and exciting than those back in our day. Pidgey and Ratatta are two of the most basic designs imaginable, paling in comparison to modern equivalents such as Wattrel and Yungoos. Even the lovable Lechonk has a more creative name despite it very obviously being just a pig. 

Then let’s look at the Legendary Pokémon that grow more adventurous by the game. For Scarlet and Violet, Miraidon on Koraidon are dragons from two paradoxical Earths. That’s badass. They make the fire, ice, and electric birds of Kanto seem so pedestrian. Even more so when you take into account their truly brilliant redesigns as Galarian forms. 

Maybe what these folks are seeking isn’t designs that make sense per se, but the simpler times that they remember growing up. Fans could easily recall the entire Pokédex before the turn of the millennium. I’d be thoroughly impressed with anybody who could quote all 1000+ to me on the spot. I can just about keep up with the UNITE roster and all of their move sets. 

Let the dogs have a shield mane, I say. Let the dragon also be an apple, I say. Pokémon is a worldwide franchise that is showing no signs of slowing down, so if you cannot accept an ice cream with a face then perhaps it is time to take a break. Combusken does still look a little phallic though, I agree.