I needed to lose my wife to find my purpose in Starfield

The first time I laid eyes on Sarah Morgan in Starfield, I knew she was the one for me. Other romance options were pointless. She was my girl, the one star I cared about in a universe of over 1,000 planets.

Though Sarah was there by my side, the sheer size of Starfield makes it very daunting. While I had spent vast amounts of time in Skyrim and Fallout 4, Starfield is a different kettle of fish entirely. When I first stepped into Bethesda’s RPG behemoth, I felt like merely a spec of sand in the cosmos.

Of course, the story tries to push the narrative that this isn’t the case and there are secrets to discover, but I felt lost. There was too much to do and explore. Where should I start? What did I want to achieve?

Sarah Morgan was my answer. As soon as I visited the Lodge, she became the only companion I took with me on my space adventures, except when missions required someone else to tag along. In the sea of stars where it was so easy to drift away, she was my anchor.

Romancing Sarah Morgan is no easy task. She can seem quite stand-offish, and you have to do a hell of a lot of digging to crack her hardened exterior, but the work is worth it.

Together, Sarah and I saved the universe from the Terromorphs, infiltrated a group of space pirates, and spent countless hours spent exploring planets. For every decision and every major moment, she was by my side.

Bit by bit, I chipped away and uncovered more about Sarah Morgan’s background. I unearthed her troubled past, and I accepted it. She had finally opened up—though I’m still yet to see her whip out her drumsticks.

We had a small but charming wedding in Paradiso. I had persuaded her before the ceremony to invite her estranged mother—though, for some reason, mine weren’t there, despite having the Kid Stuff trait.

I was settled. I had Sarah locked in by my side for all the journeys yet to come and was thinking about our future together—but Starfield had other ideas. Be warned, there are spoilers ahead in this article.

My world turned upside down

My focus in Starfield was centered solely around Sarah Morgan. When completing missions and side quests, I always geared my behavior based on what she would like and the responses she wanted to hear. The entire game became a side quest in my charge for Sarah Morgan’s affection.

When I had it, after we shared our vows, I had a new objective: finish the main campaign and then find a place we can call home. I already owned some property and had decided our main base of operations would be our Jemison penthouse. But I also wanted a forever home away from the drama, a relaxed environment where we could live out our days.

Little did I know that disaster was waiting around the corner. In the High Price to Pay mission, the Starborn attacked the Lodge, and I was presented with a choice: defend the Lodge or travel to the Eye.

In truth, there wasn’t really a choice. I was at the Lodge, and running away wasn’t an option. I knew Sarah would feel the same way. So, I protected our friends, gathered the pieces of the artifact, and fended off the Starborn. 

When the threat was over, and having escaped with my life, I breathed a sigh of relief. My next stop was the Eye, where Sarah was stationed for this part of the story. I thought the worst was over. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Sarah was fatally wounded. I wasn’t even there at the moment she passed. I had lost her.

Now, I had a more important choice to make: reload an instance prior to the attack and change the outcome, or continue on freshly widowed? I’ll admit, I mulled heavily over the former.

In the end, though, I stayed true to the path. There would be no do-overs—or would there? 

A new universe awaits

Prior to Sarah’s death, New Game+ was of no interest to me. Why would I want to start again when I had everything I could ever want? Now, though, New Game+ seemed much less pointless and instead provided the route to bringing back all I lost.

New Game+ in Starfield sees you step into the multiverse, traveling to a new environment where you can experience new adventures or start all over again. Knowing what lay ahead for Sarah, I knew I could save her.

I didn’t pay too much attention to Starfield’s final missions. I was solely focused on rushing through to start a New Game+. However, I had more trauma waiting for me as this final push saw me meeting an alive and well Sarah before quickly discovering she was from another universe. It didn’t seem appropriate or the right time to ask if she fancied taking the place of my Sarah.

After completing the campaign, luck was finally on my side. Sarah was waiting for me, safe and sound, and I had found myself on the nice side of Bethesda’s weird and wonderful mechanic that could have led to vastly different scenarios. The members of Constellation could have been children, or Sarah could have been a plant.

Sarah is now, I’m glad to report, safe and sound, and I will do everything in my power to keep it that way. However, some things remain out of my control. I may do something she doesn’t like, and she may end up wanting a divorce, though I have the advantage of knowing that if disaster does strike again, I have a route back to happiness by entering New Game+ as many times as I need.

It may not have been the journey that Bethesda intended for me in Starfield, and it may have taken many hours of playing, but I finally found my purpose among the stars, and nothing will divert me from my path.