The new Evelynn makes a whole lot of sex jokes

Is it getting hot in here?

Image via Riot Games

Evelynn’s rework has been a hot topic since it was teased last week, because it has something special that the other major champion updates didn’t have—sex.

Her lore has always involved sex to a degree, since she’s a succubus, but it was never clearly defined or highlighted as a part of her identity. Well, Riot has gone above and beyond by zeroing-in on the new Evelynn’s promiscuous identity, locking down League of Legends as the premier choice of MOBA for horny teenagers.

Evelynn’s voiceover was revealed today when her new kit was loaded onto the PBE, and it falls right in line with the rest of her theme. It has so many jokes and references to sex that we just couldn’t resist compiling a list of the best of them for your reading pleasure.

  1. When buying the Void Staff: “It’s so… big.”
  2. When buying the Void Staff: “Imagine what we could do with this.”
  3. When buying the Void Staff: “Think of all the… places… this could go.”
  4. On kill: “Mmm… I hate it when they don’t last.”
  5. Attacking Baron: “Finally! A man who can satisfy me.”
  6. Attacking Dragon: “Don’t worry, honey, I’m open to all types.”
  7. Taunting Ahri: “Skank.”
  8. Taunting Mundo: “So, you’re a masochist? Whatcha doing later?”
  9. On kill: “Was it as good for you as it was for me?”
  10. Entering stealth: “It’s better in the dark.”
  11. Taunting Bard: “I can make you do a lot more than jingle.”
  12. On kill: “Wanna do it again?”
  13. Respawn: “So, they like it rough?”
  14. Taunting Lee Sin: “Blindfolds, huh? Whatever does it for ya.”
  15. Buying Cloth Armor: “Why not give them something to take off?”
  16. Taunting Nocturne: “Why don’t we leave the lights on for this?”
  17. Ban quote: “Once again, a woman is left unsatisfied.”

Of course, there are way more jokes and innuendos sprinkled throughout her voiceover kit, but the ones above were the best. We learned two things today—Evelynn has a thing for giant tentacle monsters, and we should always wash our Void Staff before going off into battle.

With the update hitting the PBE today, we can expect Evelynn and her sex-fueled rework to go live in Patch 7.20, which is only a couple weeks away.