The Cheap Superteam

In CS:GO there are amazing top notch players trapped in CS limbo, whether it be a scarring history o

In Counter-Strike: Global Offensive, there are amazing top notch players trapped in CS limbo. Whether it be a scarring history of “toxic” attitudes, no use for them on other teams, or having a banana bread haircut, these players just cannot seem to get on to winning teams, but if you are an outsider with a big wallet, this team would be a [relatively] cheap team to put together. Not only that, but it would also be a team with massive amounts of firepower (and the stability of a troll hammered on the finest whisky).

1- S1mple:

S1mple may be an amazing player, but his emotions are harder to control than a rodeo bull

To use Thorin’s description of s1mple he is: “the MODDI of today. Phenomenally talented but haunted by his reputation.” This is true. He is fundamentally sound and has raw skill rival to that of shoxie in his peak, yet he is not on a top 20 team in the world because of the aforementioned “toxicity.” An example of this was on his old team Liquid, which preferred to be a family and have a 5k decoy grenade with the impact on the game rival to a baseball bat made of cotton, instead of having s1mple the “raging” player who is better than any NA superstar.

The source of his rage is most likely his youth. As a young, talented player, he views himself with great confidence, and is outraged by his teammates’ (who are usually older than him) inability to perform to his level, but this is a double-edged blade, as while he may go off on his teammates for losing a round, match, series, or potentially a tournament, his extreme confidence allows him to make inhuman plays and not be affected by pressure. Another one of his problems in Liquid was his separation from his family and partner, but as this team is all European, he will be able to live in Ukraine, and practice online with his team. 

2- Niko:

Being the best player in the world heavily outweighs having a banana bread haircut

Not only the best player on this team, but even in the world, niko is the definition of stuck in elo hell. His team is not even in Thorin’s top 10, yet he is able to demolish opponents with a rounded game, excellent game sense, and an aim which makes screaM look like a silver one Russian who got too tipsy and is playing blindfolded. He will also be one of the more expensive pickups at around 40k euro, but it is worth it. As long as s1mple keeps his remarks about Nazis to a minimum, him and the Bosnian will wreck most opponents easily by themselves. I personally find it strange that Niko has not been picked up by a large org, especially from NA, as the only thing wrong with him is his banana bread haircut.

3- Oskar: The Slovakian does not lack the firepower to destroy the opponents

Oskar is like a mini Niko; able to carry his team and elevate them to standards they would not be able tor each usually, but on a smaller scale. He is especially good with the awp and has no problem with the rifles either. He is well rounded and consistent, but this is where the instability comes in. S1mple and Oskar are not the best of friends, in fact, quite the contrary, s1mple has called him a “baiter” and many shouting matches will take place on this team. This is comparable to the Shaq and Kobe situation, where two superstar players absolutely despise each other, but in game have amazing synergy and talent.

The solution itself presents in the comparison, the same way the Lakers got Shaq and Kobe to not go at each other’s throats; minimizing contact, so they only see each other during practice and on LAN. This is the major gamble with this team, and may lead the team to success, or give it the effectiveness of AdreN on Team Liquid.

4- apEX: 

The French man can do more than being bait for Happy This may seem strange, but I have chosen apEX because he can be an incredibly talented and explosive entry-fragger at his peak, but even if he does not perform he has Oskar as his second man in and S1mple as his third, so no damage will be dealt to the team. Another reason I have chosen apEX is that he finished last at MLG Columbus 2016, and his spirits must be down, so he might jump at the chance of joining this good of a team. apEX, unlike the past three, can be replaced with any entry-fragger, but I have chosen him because he has been on a team with the last member, and might synergise with him well.

5- Maniac:

The Swiss maniac does not need to bring much to the table

This may be the strangest acquisition for the team, as maniac is not well known for his mad fragging skills. However, I do not need any more fragging power. I need smart support players who know how to open up chances for their teammates, and Maniac fits that mould. He is a player with so-so skills, but knowledge for the game, which is why I think he will do well as the final player of this super team. Some might argue someone like Ex6TenZ brings more to the table, and is everything that maniac is plus an amazing in-game leader, and while that is true, Ex6TenZ’s dictator-like in-game leading style might hinder the stars’ performances.

This team might succeed, it might not, but it would be interesting to see it in action, and I hope it happens.