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Vasco talking to our character in Starfield
Screenshot by Dot Esports

Starfield player uninstalls game after NPC roasts them too hard

There's no coming back from this burn.

Being in an open world environment leaves a lot of room for surprises—a new jaw-droppingly gorgeous area you’ve never been to, an enemy ambush at the most inopportune of moments, getting roasted into oblivion by a robotic NPC with literally no sense of humor. The opportunities are endless, but it’s the latter that forced this Starfield player to uninstall the whole game out of shame.

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You’d imagine that game crashes, bugs, poor performance, lackluster combat, or a mediocre story is what would drive a player over the edge and into the uninstall territory of Starfield’s world, but no, it’s a single line of dialogue that did the trick for Reddit user Jaxenquest on Sept. 6. Their three-lines long post on Starfield’s subreddit is as hilarious as it is relatable, telling the brief story of how Jaxenquest’s Starfield character asked the humorless robot Vasco to tell them a human joke:

“I asked Vasco if he knew any human jokes and bro literally said ‘I’m looking at one’. I was shattered mentally. Completely unacceptable.”

This Reddit post’s title “I had to uninstall the game after this” is obviously (well, hopefully) a joke on Jaxenquest’s part, but in any case, they’re far from the only Starfield player getting roasted in the game. The original poster’s own experience with NPC burns prompted many others to share similar stories.

One player created a character on the heavier side just to have an NPC in Akila City make fun of their weight. Another player’s Ronin character was walking around town, minding their own business, when they were met with a “You use swords? You know guns are a thing now, right?” by a random citizen.

Barrett, known for his sharp tongue, inevitably gets mentioned quite high on the list of NPCs prone to roasting. A character trying to romance Barrett received a rather stoic “Uh okay… let’s get back to the mission” response. Barrett is all business and he doesn’t have time for your games of romance.

It shouldn’t surprise you then that Vasco, the robot on a mission to make Starfield players uninstall the game, learned how to tell jokes from that very same Barrett. Not being properly equipped with a sense of humor by his creators, Vasco mimicked Barrett’s manner of telling human jokes, apparently to devastating effect.


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Author
Image of Kiril Stoilov
Kiril Stoilov
Dot Esports general gaming writer. Loves writing, games, and writing about games. Began working in the industry in 2018 with esports.com, before moving to earlygame.com, and later joining the Dot Esports staff. Though a single player gamer at heart, he can be seen noobing around CS:GO lobbies.