The best weapons in South Park: Snow Day!, ranked

South Park: Snow Day! does not have any RPG mechanics, so all you have to rely on are your weapons, powers, and the all-reliable Bullshit. While the latter certainly helps, combat begins with a solid weapons foundation, so we’re here to rank the best weapons in South Park: Snow Day!

There are ways to discern the viable from the outright overpowered, and believe us, some weapons do feel overpowered, so here’s every South Park: Snow Day! weapon, ranked from worst to best.

All weapons in South Park: Snow Day!: A brief overview

There aren’t a ton of weapons to choose from. THQ Nordic has gone for quality over quantity with a total of six weapons: Three melee and three ranged. Each of these covers a different playstyle, which means two things: You can play however you like and there’s no definitive “best weapon” in the game.

With that in mind, make sure to check out what all six weapons bring to the table before settling on a consistent loadout. You can always bring along one melee and one ranged weapon, so you’re never truly limited in what you can do. All weapons have a special attack triggered by holding down mouse one (for melee) or mouse two (for ranged). Melee weapons also have a jumping attack that triggers when pressing mouse one while in the air.

The best melee weapons in South Park: Snow Day!, ranked

3) Daggers

Coming in at number three are the daggers. They are balanced around getting as many hits in as you can at the expense of lower damage per hit. The daggers are also one of two weapons in the game that deal status damage; in this case, Bleeding. Hitting bleeding enemies boosts the base damage you deliver, with the possibility to further raise that number via Upgrade cards.

The special attack is a quick flurry of hits, which can be ideal for inflicting Bleeding if all land on a single enemy. As this is the unofficial dexterity weapon in the game, its jumping attack can travel quite a distance before delivering a blow, making it ideal for quickly closing the gap between you and the enemy.

If you want to fly around the map poking everyone with lightning-quick strikes, the daggers will serve you well. The reason we have it at the bottom of our list is that the lower damage output starts becoming an issue in later chapters when enemy health rises, and we’re not convinced the Bleeding effect makes up for it. Furthermore, other melee options offer benefits that simply outweigh those of the daggers.

2) Sword and Shield

The classic knight loadout comes in at the midway point of our melee tier list. Sword attacks aren’t significantly slower than the daggers while delivering a lot more damage per hit, which is one-half of why we have it in front of the daggers. The other half is of course the shield, which does exactly what you’d expect: Protects you from enemy hits.

The one downside to this setup is that the shield takes up the special attack slot, so you’re stuck with spamming mouse one for all melee attacks. The shield itself works much like a stamina bar—three shield bars appear when you raise the shield, each depleting upon hit, but they do regenerate on their own in between hits. This is fairly balanced, allowing you to escape tough situations, but not to constantly turtle your way through battles.

It’s fitting that the sword and shield are in the middle of our list. It’s a balanced offering that deals more damage than the daggers while also providing innate protection without the need for special powers. If you’re looking to bring the medieval knight experience over to South Park, you can do that without compromising gameplay.

1) Two-handed Axe

The two-handed axe is the big daddy of damage dealing in South Park: Snow Day! It deals punishing blows with each strike, with the caveat that it’s noticeably slower than either the daggers or the sword. If you’re always going for a strength build in RPGs, you’ll fall in love with this weapon.

The secret sauce making the two-handed axe the best melee weapon in Snow Day is its special and jumping attacks. The special attack is a swinging whirlwind that can decimate multiple enemies at once if they are caught in it. This attack can only be interrupted by specific enemy grab attacks, so more times than not, successfully pulling it off will give you a massive advantage.

The jumping attack is an axe slam that outright pancakes smaller enemies and sends a shockwave that can stun nearby enemies. Most importantly, jumping attacks do not consume stamina and can be spammed endlessly. You’re surely catching on to how this makes the two-handed axe easily the best weapon in South Park: Snow Day!, which explains why it’s locked behind progressing the main story past its halfway point.

The best ranged weapons in South Park: Snow Day!, ranked

3) Bow

The bow is probably the worst weapon overall in South Park: Snow Day! It simply ends up feeling bland compared to all the crazy stuff surrounding it. It’s just a bow firing arrows, with its special attack being a sniper shot, which is a regular arrow shot with a zoom-in effect that deals twice the damage. The damage is decent, mind you, but similarly to the daggers, it could feel insufficient deeper into a playthrough.

The bow isn’t terrible, and spamming arrows from afar can certainly be a viable strategy, but it does its job as a ranged weapon objectively worse than the other two options. You have to be relatively precise with your aim and can only damage one enemy per shot. These limitations don’t exist with our other two entries, so it’s third place for the bow.

2) Staff

The staff is what the bow wishes it was. It also shoots projectiles, but they are more interesting and more damaging. The wand shoots fireballs at opponents. You can either spam away singular small shots or charge up for an aerial bomb that damages everyone within its range and knocks down most enemies on the ground. The longer you charge the special attack, the larger the area of effect.

The staff is a lot more effective, particularly with its ability to affect a large number of enemies with a single strike. It is reminiscent of the axe’s whirlwind, only you don’t have to be close to any enemies to do damage. Shooting fireballs is also much more pleasing aesthetically than arrows, so the staff wins both the practical and the visual comparison with the bow.

1) Wand

The wand didn’t even have to be all that powerful to be our favorite weapon in South Park: Snow Day!, but it is, so we can call it our favorite and the best ranged weapon in the game. It has a singular charged attack, but if you’re worried the lack of a quick one-tap attack will prevent you from spamming it, you’re dead wrong.

The wand should have really been called the flamethrower because that’s what it really is: Holding down mouse one has never felt more satisfying as you burn everyone in the vicinity to a crisp. The flames do have a cooldown mechanic attached, but you don’t even have to lift your finger to recharge and continue barbecuing your enemies. The wand can also set enemies on fire, the second status effect you can inflict with your weapons, which is the cherry on top of an already impressive pudding.

The range of the wand is shorter than that of the bow and the staff, but that slight deficiency isn’t nearly enough to knock it off the throne. You can still cook several enemies at once with it from a comfortable distance, and there’s no more efficient or more enjoyable way to beat enemies in South Park: Snow Day! than that.

How to upgrade weapons in South Park: Snow Day!

If you want to make the most out of all these attack options, make sure to apply Upgrade cards. These can be purchased from Jimmy at certain spots during a chapter and can improve your damage per second significantly, or even add entirely new moves to your weapons, as well as your powers. Getting Upgrades from Jimmy is one of our core tips and tricks for beginners in South Park: Snow Day!, so don’t be a stranger and buff yourself up every chance you get.

The other way to enhance your damage output is via Perks by talking to Mr. Hankey in the main hub. These are harder to acquire, but are permanent, unlike Upgrades, which only last for the duration of the chapter. You can always take back the Dark Matter currency you’ve spent for a Perk and reinvest it, but throwing some of that DM into extra damage output seems like a good idea to us.